Marty McFly may have had one helluva traumatic experience travelling through time a whole bunch, almost getting killed a few times, and having accidental incest with his mom, but this article proves why Marty actually had the BEST high school experience ever. Or at least it TRIES to.

Martin “Marty” McFly might seem like your typical American teenager journeying through the endless joy that is high school, but there’s something very special about Marty’s high school experience that makes him stand out from everyone else at Hill Valley High and any other high school for that matter. Could it be that he’s best friends with a scientist/physicist/inventor who steals from terrorists? That he’s been shot at by said terrorists in a mall parking lot in the middle of the night? Or maybe it’s that he accidentally became the first human time-traveler in existence? Either way, there’s no denying that what Marty went through in high school was pretty special and, well, traumatizing. But despite him having gone through more crazy situations than most in high school (and remember, I’m talking about high school) I would argue that Martin Seamus McFly might actually have had the best God damn high school experience than anyone else on the planet, trauma and all. Think about it, the kid had the time of his ife! (Heh. Time pun) He got to visit the past three times, the future once, and experienced three different versions of the present! I mean, holy sh*t! Only cool thing I ever did in high school was fart in class and work at Pizza Hut! Just kidding, I didn’t work at Pizza Hut.

I would argue that Martin Seamus McFly might actually have had the best God damn high school experience than anyone else on the planet, trauma and all.

The kid’s got stories that will last him a lifetime and he did all of it in only 19 days (by his perspective). Now, I know there was some stress involved in all of this, with the, ya know, whole possibility of destroying the entire space-time continuum and all that, BUT…the whole thing was all still pretty exciting! Adventure and excitement may not be what a Jedi craves, but a puberty-stricken high schooler would eat this sh*t up! Even though most teenagers act like they don’t care, you know they love a good adventure as much as the next time-traveling kid. And even if you can honestly say that this wouldn’t have excited you as a teenager, take it from me, someone who’s the ripe old age of [REDACTED], I’ve witnessed all my high school fr ends have half a dozen kids and get jobs they hate, wishing to Zod they could do something half as cool as what they used to in high school.

So, you’re either lying to yourself, or maybe you just get a normal amount of sleep and don’t work at a drive-thru.

There’s no denying that what Marty went through in high school was pretty special and, well, traumatizing.

My only real problem with Marty McFly having all of these time travel adventures is that it was Marty McFly who had them. I mean, you give the greatest adventures imaginable to the kid who was already really freakin’ cool? That’s not fair. And he wasn’t even just “high school cool”, he was, like, regular cool! And how many people did you know in high school that were actually regular cool?! His fashion was on point, he was the leader of a band, and did sicky-gnar-gnar tricks on his skateboard all through town! I mean, for f*ck’s sake, AN ENTIRE AEROBICS CLASS WAVED TO HIM AS HE SKITCHED A RIDE TO SCHOOL! It’s one thing to have been the school loser and be brought on the greatest adventure any human being has ever experienced, but you basically brought the most popular kid in town along! I mean, imagine if Doc Brown sent a nerd to the future! Freakin’ Gilbert. Gilbert the Nerd. He would’ve had the time of his life! Granted, Gilbert probably wouldn’t have gotten anything done ‘cause he would’ve been nerdingout too hard trying to appreciate the science behind everything and gotten beaten up by Biff in the first 5 minutes of being there. So, yeah, okay, maybe choosing a cool kid was the way to go. Besides,

I can’t imagine Gilbert having the social strength to shred Johnny B. Good in front of the entire student body.

All I’m saying is, even with all the crazy antics like being knocked out three times, almost dying twice, and spending a whole week trying to get your parents to make-out so you could actually exist only to accidentally have incestual relations with your mom, it still would’ve been the time of anyone’s life! Okay, maybe, um… maybe the incest part would make it not worth it, but… hey, he got to drive a DeLorean! And that’s cool, right? Right? Hello?

About the Author: Matthew McLachlan

Matthew McLachlan

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